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C = Communicate Concern

• Lead with Care: Start by explicitly expressing care and concern to establish emotional safety:
  
  
  • "I care about you and want to support you right now."
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• 鈥漊se "I" Statements: Point out specific, nonjudgmental observations in behavior rather than making broad generalizations:
  
  
  • "I鈥檝e noticed you don鈥檛 seem like yourself鈥�"
  • "I鈥檓 worried about how exhausted and overwhelmed you feel鈥︹��
  • 鈥淚 feel like you鈥檝e been navigating a lot right now鈥︹��
    
    
• Normalize Any Nerves: Acknowledge any hesitation if you feel awkward鈥攁uthenticity builds trust:
  
  
  • "I'm a bit nervous bringing this up, but because I care about you, I need to check in鈥�").
    
    
• Reframe Help-Seeking: Remind them that asking for support is an act of courage and strength, not a personal failure or weakness.

H = Have Empathy & Compassion

Create a Safe, Uninterrupted Space: Choose a private, quiet setting and eliminate distractions (like cell phones) to offer your undivided presence.

Listen to Understand, Not to "Fix": Your role is not to solve their problems or act as a therapist鈥攕imply meet them in their distress and listen closely to their experience.

Offer Direct Verbal Validation: Avoid toxic positivity ("It'll all be fine!") or lecturing ("You have so much to live for"). Instead, acknowledge and validate their emotional reality:

• "Thank you for trusting me enough to share this with me."
• "You are not alone right now. I am right here with you."
• "I know this can be hard to talk about鈥擨鈥檓 here to listen."
• "It sounds like you have been carrying a lot lately. That must be exhausting."

A = Ask Questions (Directly About Suicide)

• Use Open-Ended, Clarifying Questions:听Demonstrate active listening and better understand their experience before transitioning to the direst question:
  
  
  • "Tell me more about what鈥檚 been going on lately..."
  • "What does that feel like for you right now?"
  • "Can you expand on that?"
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• Ask Directly About Suicide (QPR Standard): Avoid asking about "hurting yourself" or "harming yourself" (which can be confused with non-suicidal self-injury). Research shows asking directly about suicide does not plant the idea鈥攊t offers immediate relief and opens the door to connection and safety:
  
  
  • "I care about you, and because I hear how much pain you're in, I want to ask: Are you thinking about suicide?"
  • 鈥淚鈥檓 asking because I want to keep you safe: Are you thinking about killing yourself?鈥澨�
  • "When people feel as overwhelmed as you do right now, they sometimes think about suicide. Are you having thoughts of killing yourself?"
  • "Things sound extremely hard right now. Are you having any thoughts of suicide?"
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• Stay Calm & Focus on Safety: Maintain your composure and validate their response. Ask about their immediate needs (鈥淲hat do you need right now to feel safe?鈥�), explore their existing network of support, and offer reassurance that professional help is available.
  
  
  • 鈥淲hat do you need right now to help you feel safe in this moment?鈥�
  • 鈥淲ho else have you talked to about how you have been feeling lately?鈥�/鈥淲ho else would you like to include in your support?鈥�
  • 鈥淗aving these feelings is a signal that it鈥檚 time to connect with a mental health professional鈥攚e can do that together."

Take Initiative & Connect to Resources听

• Build a Bridge: Frame support as a partnership while maintaining clear boundaries. Avoid simply passing on contact information; instead, make the call together, physically walk them to care, and sit with them while they connect.听
  
  
  • 鈥淚 hear that you are really struggling, and I think it would be really beneficial to talk to someone who can best help you.鈥澨�
  • 鈥淚 want to help, but I'm not a mental health professional. Let's connect with someone whose job it is to guide people through challenging situations like this. I will walk with you."
  • "Let's explore options together to best connect you with mental health resources right now."
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• Utilize BC Campus Mental Health Resources:
  • University Counseling Services (UCS): Walk to Gasson Hall 001 or call (617) 552-3310 during business hours. After-hours/weekends: Call (617) 552-3310 (Option 2) for the Psychiatric Emergency Clinician (PEC).
  • BCPD Emergency Line: Call (617) 552-4444 for immediate crisis or emergency assistance.听
  • National 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: Call, text, or chat 988听together.听
  • Office of the Dean of Students (DOS): If you become aware of any thoughts or plans of suicide (past or present), first care for the individual and connect them to immediate support as needed. Afterward, submit a Student of Concern report at bc.edu/report or call (617) 552-3470 to ensure holistic follow-up support.听

S = Seek Support For Yourself

Recognize Your Boundaries & Role: Understand your role and stay clear on the scope of your support:

What You CAN Do:

• Listen compassionately and actively.
• Ask directly and clearly about suicide.
• Connect to professional help and campus mental health resources.
• Follow up with care and support.

What You CANNOT Do:

• Act as a professional therapist or fix the problem.
• Keep thoughts or plans of suicide a secret.
• Perform a formal clinical risk assessment.
• Force someone to accept help against their will.

Debrief with a Professional: You do not have to hold the weight of supporting someone in distress alone. Reach out to a supervisor, mentor, faculty member, or staff person afterward to process your experience safely. All campus mental health resources are available to you.听

Build Your Personal Wellness Toolkit: Prioritize your own care and mental well-being by exploring self-care tools, wellness resources, and peer support at the Murray Center for Student Wellness (Gasson Hall 013). Visit the 鈥淏uilding Your Own Mental Health Toolkit鈥� section below to learn more.听